12/28/2023 0 Comments Tough conversations![]() The discussion began, and it was terrible. The group was tremendously varied - former gang members, business leaders, corrections officers, clergy, social workers, sheriff’s deputies, city officials - and also unaccustomed to collaborating with one another. Their goal was to discuss how to best support people upon their release from prison and help prevent them from re-entering the criminal justice system again. ![]() In his TEDxKeene Talk, Cohen speaks about a gathering he oversaw at Chicago’s Cook County Jail, which has more than 6,500 inmates and is one of the largest jails in the US. Move toward - not away from - the conflict. Cohen has three rules to help you lead difficult conversations. However, when we continue to dodge these conversations, he says, “frustration sets in, communication constricts, tensions rise, trust evaporates and collaboration is done.”Īfter you work up the will and courage to tackle your elephant, there are a few key steps you can take to ensure that your discussion will be productive - often in ways you can’t anticipate or imagine. In his work facilitating negotiations with people from all different kinds of organizations - including companies, political factions, law enforcement, hospitals, gangs - in the US, Northern Ireland and the Middle East, Cohen has seen all the reasons that keep us from saying anything. It’s human nature to avoid difficult conversations, partly because they’re difficult and partly because we’re worried that having them could make things worse. ![]() “I believe they might be one conversation away from accomplishing that thing but they’re not having it … or they’ve tried and it hasn’t gone well.” “I want you to think of a tough conversation that people around you need to have - there’s some issue that’s holding them back from accomplishing what they want to accomplish,” says Adar Cohen, a conflict resolution expert based in Illinois and cofounder of the Civic Leadership Foundation, in a TEDxKeene Talk. Maybe it’s about salary, taking someone’s time or effort for granted, goals, lagging performance, or some other loaded topic. This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community browse through all the posts here.Įvery group - whether it’s a family or a team in the workplace - has one: an uncomfortable, complicated or charged conversation that hasn’t happened but needs to.
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